surprisebitch:

"people shouldn’t take nudes if they don’t want them leak-"

*steals your phone*

"what the fuck? give me back my phone!"

WELL YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BOUGHT A PHONE IF YOU DIDN’T WANT IT STOLEN

(Source: surprisebitch)

dingoinnuendo:

people who type lol when theyre mad are the people you have to watch out for theyll fucking stab you in the back in a dark alley and steal your wallet whispering “lol” all passive aggressively into your ear. same goes for “lmao”. Watch out

(Source: jackwhynand)

hate:

*works out*
*gets sore*
*never works out again*

itsb0sstime:

georgia-dream:

if your boyfriend is your best friend, you’re doing it right.

if your boyfriend is your only friend, you’re doing it wrong.

THANK. YOU.

fugrats:

godwithabod:

hey who wants to start a gang

ill ask my mom

(Source: financialshade)


Cute Leader

(Source: all-kill-queens)

seereezy:

manager: sir your resume just says “good looking and talented”

me: am I lying though?

manager: …youre right, Im sorry youre hired

asvprock:

When are they going to write a love song about PIZZA.

just-a-mean-teen:

My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point


(Source: atekuromi)

surprisebitch:

when i was new to the UK, somebody asked me if i had rubber and i gave them a condom because i didnt know they meant eraser


intensional:

me trying to cheer anyone up ever

(Source: intensional)